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MuffCap Capital Markets Special Product Anouncement!
MuffCap, LLC is pleased to announce its second capital markets product for highly prestigious institutional investors or moderately prestigious private clients that are, nevertheless, unduly wealthy: The “Fixed London Interbank Offered Rate (LIBOR) Fix” ETF (the “FLIBORF” for short).
Introduction: This unique financial instrument provides investors with exposure to corrected LIBOR fixes. Traditional LIBOR calculations by the British Bankers’ Association take the rate submissions of “Panel Banks,” discard the top and bottom 25% and average the resulting rates to produce the “LIBOR Fix.” By contrast, the FLIBORF ETF discards the middle 50% of rate submissions and then converts the resulting outlying rates (high and low 25%) to basis points before squaring the result to provide a truer LIBOR Fix for the discerning investor. (Please note: Rates are subject to modification by Mr. Kent Hardwich Sr., MuffCap’s Chief Revenue Officer, during periods of low volatility and/or volume).
Interested clients may obtain the MuffCap TPS Report “Towards A More Violent LIBOR” by contacting their sales representatives directly.
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Now Ready: Special Letter On The: American Telephone and Telegraph Company
Now ready. Special Letter on the: American Telephone and Telegraph Company. Our Weekly Financial Review summarizes the situation clearly and concisely. It weighs the factors which influence prices, thus enabling the investors to form definte judgements. We maintain a fully equipped statistical department which is prepared to promptly furnish an accurrate report to any security listed on the New York Stock Exchange. We also keep our clients supplied iwth the latest newws bearing on any corporations in the securities in which they are interested. This service is maintained for the convenience of our exclusive list of clients, and without any more than a nominal charge.
Clients may obtain the MuffCap Special Letter: “On The: American Telephone and Telegraph Company” by contacting their sales representatives directly.
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MuffCap Capital Markets Product Announcement
MuffCap, LLC is pleased to announce its first capital markets product for highly prestigious institutional investors or moderately prestigious private clients that are, nevertheless, unduly wealthy: The “SaudiPaul Call”.
Introduction: This unique financial instrument provides investors that have short exposure to Paulson & Co. Funds with unparalleled mitigation of related Saudi gluttony and affluence risk, or providers investors that have short exposure to Saudi gluttony and affluence risk with unparallelled mitigation of related Paulson & Co. investment competence risk.
Description:
Dual Binary Options (European) with 12 month expiry.
Underlying: Collective mass of King Abdullah and Crown Prince Nayef of Saudi Arabia AND 12 month return (net fees) ending December 2012 of any Paulson & Co. fund.
Option A: Premium 28%
Option Pays: ~4.4x if:
1. At expiration, HRH Abdullah and Nayef have a collective mass of at least 260.00 kilograms (573.20 pounds), AND;
2. Any Paulson & Co fund has a 12 month gain net fees of at least 1.00 percent for the period ending in December 2012.
Maximum loss (premium paid) if:
Option expires at $0.00 if both conditions are not met on the date of expiration.
Option B: Premium 20%
Option Pays: ~5.0x if:
1. At expiration, HRH Abdullah and Nayef have a collective mass of at least 275.00 kilograms (606.27 pounds), AND;
2. Any Paulson & Co fund has a 12 month gain net fees of at least 4.00 percent for the period ending in December 2012.
Maximum loss (premium paid) if:
Option expires at $0.00 if both conditions are not met on the date of expiration.
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MuffCap Initiates Coverage On Ferrellgas LP Conference Calls With “Explosive Decompression Sell”
A combination of sketchy acoustics, jarring hold music and a pathological inability of the presenters to use percentages prompts MuffCap, LLC to strongly discourage clients from listening to Ferrellgas conference calls of any duration whatsoever. We initiate our coverage of Ferrellgas conference calls or their associated webcasts with our most aggressive negative rating: “Explosive Decompression Sell.”
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MuffCap: Bullish On Jobs
In the wake of a punctual presidential speech on employment this morning, MuffCap, LLC has become increasingly bullish on JOBS (NYSE: JOBS -6.88% 1y). Strong presidential support and bi-partisian promise to boost domestic JOBS would lift the issue significantly. In addition, the firm, which the President mentioned by name multiple times from the pulpit today, stands to gain from the publicity and renewed interest in domestic hiring. These factors combine to occasion our “BUY JOBS” rating.
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Win A Date With MuffCap, LLC Executives! #muffcontest
The Event: “Hail Caesar!”
In honor of the elevation to Emperor of Servius Sulpicius Galba Caesar Augustus (the Emperor Galba, Nero’s successor) by the Roman Senate on this date, MuffCap, LLC is pleased to announce the inaugural “Date With MuffCap, LLC Executives” contest.
The Entry: “Tweet Two Numbers!”
Entering is simple: The first contestant to tweet the two most significant digits of today’s close of the Dow Jones Industrial Average with the hashtag #muffcontest will be declared the winner.
The Prize: “A Trip To Bermuda With MuffCap’s Kent Hardwich, Sr!”
The winning entry will be awarded the unique, once in a lifetime opportunity to crew on MuffCap, LLC Senior Credit Analyst Kent Hardwich, Sr.’s yacht for this year’s Newport – Bermuda race on June 15, 2012.
(See: http://www.bermudarace.com/).*
“The Newport Bermuda Race is a 635-mile ocean race, most of it out of sight of land, usually lasting three to six days. It crosses a stretch of the Atlantic Ocean known for challenging weather, especially in the Gulf Stream, where there are strong currents.”
* Unfortunately, due to a prior commitment, Mr. Hardwich will be unable to attend. Please Note: As “Coo-Coo-Coolidge,” Mr. Hardwich’s yacht, will remain moored in Bermuda for the summer pending a liquidation sale, the winner is advised to make return travel arrangements in advance.
Sino Forest Corporation And TPS Report Preview
MuffCap, LLC takes note of attractive pricing in Sino-Forest’s 4.25 convertibles of 2016. Patient and risk-tolerant clients with a Jurassic-term investment horizon may benefit from exposure to this high yield debt instrument with significant optionality. These circumstances prompt MuffCap to initiate coverage with a “Ben Graham Buy” rating. A full The Pink Sheets Report on the issue will follow in due course.
Though Sino-Forest common has been thinly traded of late, we highlight the recent advances in steam powered locomotive and logging technology that promise to increase timber yields and reduce Chinese labor costs dramatically, traditionally a key input cost pressure the relief of which should favorably benefit this mispriced debt instrument with common equity characteristics.
Clients may obtain the MuffCap TPS Report “Sino-Forest And The Miracle Of Steam Power” by contacting their sales representatives directly.
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Time To Get Aggressive
MuffCap, LLC initiates coverage on Credit Agricole’s subordinated 5-7/8s of 2019 with an ”Aggressive Buy” rating. (Senior Credit Analyst Kent Hardwich, Sr.) We note material improvement in the firm’s TCE Ratio, which strengthened 32.5% on the quarter from 1.20% to 1.59%. Projecting this trend forward to Q1 2014, we anticipate Credit Agricole will sport a granite TCE ratio of 15.10%, making the redoubtable French lender the most well capitalized of TBTF banks in the world.
Some of my older clients will recall previous “Time To Get Aggressive” notes from firms I have been associated with from as far back as August 1916, recommending the purchase of Russian 5s Tsarist Bonds of 1906.
Clients who heeded our allocation advice at the time weathered the 16,600 basis point blowout in the spread versus United States Treasuries that followed very well, and it should be noted this was not, in fact, the last “Time To Get Aggressive” call. Clients will remember that on the occasion of my last “Time To Get Aggressive” call in August 2007 returns were best served where the call was taken in the context of our other general disclaimers and advice.
Do recall also, however, that investors in the Tsarist 5s who held on into the 1990s, when Russia made good on its promise as a show of good will to the French, were richly rewarded. Patience after a “Time To Get Aggressive” call, I hasten to add, is a virtue.
Clients may obtain the MuffCap Report “Time To Get Aggressive” by contacting their sales representatives directly.
About Muffie Benson-Perella:
Muffie Benson-Perella (muffie AT muffmarket.com) was an Associate in the Investment Banking Division of a “Bulge Bracket” bank. She holds a B.A. in French and Art from Vassar College and an M.B.A. from Harvard Business School. She concentrated in Contemporary French Poetry at prep school where she was awarded the exclusive premiership of the school’s rigorous “French Club.”
Ms. Benson-Perella is the Founder and Managing Director of “Muffie on the Market” (http://www.muffmarket.com), a deep dive into capital markets, finance and investment strategy. She is also the Founder and Managing Director of Muff Cap, LLC.
About Ken Hardwich, Sr.:
Mr. Hardwich joins MuffCap after a lifetime in the financial services industry. Over the course of his more than 65 year tenure Mr. Hardwick held senior risk management positions at such storied firms as Chicago Bank of Commerce, Drexel Burnham Lambert, National Indemnity, Long Term Capital Management, and Washington Mutual.
His experience attracted the notice of several heads of state during the 2008 financial crisis during which he was frequently consulted on various government sponsored restructurings.
Mr. Hardwich holds an Associates Degree in Executive Science from Bunker Hill Community College, a BA in Accounting from Dartmouth, and a JD/MBA from Harvard University. Mr. Hardwich is an avid breeder of champion Terriers, and a lifelong supporter of Champions United Youth Charities of America.
About MuffCap, LLC:
Muff Cap, LLC is an invitation only, private research firm and investment vehicle for non-existent, prestigious and accredited investors only, employing an actively managed, long-short strategy.
MuffCap produces and distributes research products for clients on a global basis. Analysts based in MuffCap offices around the world produce equity research on industries and companies, and research on macroeconomics, currencies, commodities, dog breeds, fine dining establishments, strategic cosmetic application and utilization techniques, the management of medical practices specializing in elective surgery, interior design, and portfolio strategy.
Cautionary Statements:
This news release contains forward-looking statements and forward-looking information (together, “forward-looking statements”) within the meaning of applicable securities laws. Forward-looking statements include assay results and future plans. Forward-looking statements involve risks, uncertainties and other factors that could cause actual results, performance, prospects and opportunities to differ materially from those expressed or implied by such forward-looking statements.